Tuesday, March 17, 2009


What does it mean to be disciplined?
I always thought that being disciplined meant knowing where you had to be, when you had to be there, and what you had to do on getting there. I thought it meant getting up every morning and having a day full of things lined up for you to do. It meant having lists and timetables and plans that won't fail you if they/you tried.
Discipline meant being able to do something, and see it to the finish. It meant trying and not giving up. Even when you're tired and uninspired and sad and just plain lazy.
Disciplined meant doing just what you set out to, accomplishing it, and sitting down at the end of the day, with a tall, cool glass of diet coke, and feeling like you mattered.
Discipline still means all of that, and some.
It may not always need a plan or a schedule. It needn't mean i give something hours of time and energy. 
It means i do it. One day at a time. One hour, if i need to.
It means i listen to kabir (the doha person familiar to those who took second language hindi in cbse schools), and do what i have to. Now.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

25 minutes

Okay, just so you know this is not my i-worship-MLTR post(yet). This is my race against time, i have 25 minutes till my computer runs out of power... thus giving me, pretty much accurately 25 minutes to live. I've seen so many of those twenty five things you didnt know about me posts on facebook. this is my warped twisted version

25 things i want you to know about me, before my computer decides to shut down.
25) I really do actually like random bands like MLTR. it's not just me trying to be uncool and failing. i actually am cool enough to admit that i think mika epitomizes cool.
24) I will cry over every movie i watch. this includes really bad, really random movies which arent sad at all. read: i cried over om shanti om. believe you me, that is the pits
23) I will also cry over books. this can even be hysterical. the worst was when i read gone with the wind for the first time. also half of a yellow sun. omg, chinua acheve is amazing.
22) Although it may seem like i cry a lot, i actually am a bloody optimistic and much too chirpy for her own good kinda person to be around. people tell me if i continue to be this happy, i might explode one day
21) I love chocolate. no this isnt random. if i had to tell people something before i died, it would probably be, "i love you, but i may love chocolate, and mr. darcy more..."
20) I love mr. darcy. if you havent noticed already that is. I LOVE HIM.
19) I laugh a lot. I am possibly the easiest person in the whole world to get a laugh out of. I laugh for really bad jokes. like this one. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. Har har. me actually laughing here.
18) I'm possibly the world's loudest shower singer. I swear, people next door applaud when i finish singing a song in the shower.
17) I love talking. It's probably my favourite thing to do. After reading. And singing. and playing my guitar.
16) I have twelve minutes to live. So clearly I've screwed up somewhere. I'm just gonna skip ahead to number 11. Call me for nos. 15-12
11) From above, i hope you've figured out, i love my cellphone. really, i'm nomophobic. i love talking on the phone.
10) When i get angry or upset or anything, i cry. and then go to sleep.
9) I have this thing for bad guys. Like this really really big thing for them. I'm into jerks in a huge way.
8) I have this tendency to jump to conclusions and get hysterical. I worry over practically nothing. And i worry. All. The. Time.
7) I actually think harry potter is over rated. It's good yes, but there've been better.
6) My dream date is a romantic walk in the rain after a four hour conversation in a coffee shop near a bookstore. So, if there are any big, muscly guys who are reading this, you know what to do to win my attentions. ;)
5) I have about 83 billion best friends, and a couple of million more really good friends. I love bumping into people i know. this habit of mine annoys a couple of people, mostly best best friends.
4)Ooh, i'm almost near the end. And i really don't have much to say. Yay liverpool for beating real madrid. I like liverpool.
3) I would make a really bad contestant on the 'Moment of Truth'. As you can see, very very clearly. It does not seem like i have a lot of deep dark secrets, does it?
2)I am possibly the most gullible person in the whole wide world. i will fall for *any* sob story.
1) things just happen to me. My life is like a bollywood film, without the matching outfits and random item numbers. It's just REALLY dramatic.

There you go, i'm done. And my power is going to die.
I did have 25 minutes to live!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dandelion Puffs

It's been millenia since i posted, and since i have solemnly sworn to myself that i won't fail hopelessly at this, as i usually do at everything i make a concious effort to succeed at, we shall post furiously and prove myself wrong. (If you understood that sentence, then you know me very well. I'm proud of you!)

The idea for this post has been around for a while now. I wrote it a couple of weeks ago, left it under my pillow to put up here,  and promptly forgot about it. The only reason it's here now is because i changed the sheets today. I sit here at 12.15 am, eating a bar of kitkat and re writing a story i wrote a month ago. It applies now more than ever, i think.

When i was little, (which makes me sound fifty yes, i know) i spent a lot of time chasing dandelion puffs. You know, those poofy little things which look like they were some fairy princess' parachute, or perhaps a white baby palm tree. (No, i dont know where i get these analogies from, either)
I could spend hours, looking for them marvelling at them, and just being flabbergasted by how many universes these little things held. Nothing made me feel more faith in story lands than a dandelion puff.
they'd show me stories. millions and trillions and hillions of stories, stories where i was a princess, or a spy or a pirate or detective, a crocodile, or a butterfly or anything at all! 
I loved that feeling, of seeing what i believed in, seeing only what i wanted to, seeing things only i saw.  Sometimes, i wish i could close my eyes and go back to that world where everything was simple, and everyone was happy.
But there's something deceptive about my dandelion puffs. they are way more complicated than they let people think they are. just like if i did go back to then, i'd just be sheltering myself, not only from everything harsh and painful and unfair, but also from everything pure and brave and true. Ignorance is not bliss, and knowledge not always a burden. i've caught myself thinking, many a time, that i'd be happier if i didnt know that someone was hurting me. if i didnt understand the consequences of my actions, if i just thought to myself, there's a big guy up there who'll take care of this, and ensure that nothing ever goes wrong. But things do go wrong, trash does happen, people (me most of all) do say things they'd never mean. and not knowing doesnt change that fact. the dandelion puffs are right. nothing is ever as easy at it seems at first glance.

The dandelion puffs mean more than just that though, they just take me to another place. A once-was-true, a might-have-been. They show me a world where i will know when to jump off a cliff into the waiting helicopter of a handsome army man. They show me a world where i know where to find a bucket of soap water to get rid of the wicked witch of the west.
People say that sixteen and a half years is too old to be dreaming of dandelion puffs. I may have to do it secret now.... that's all! :)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Sense and sensibility

This is my dabble of amateur poetry, so no mean comments about how much i love rhyming words
couple of notes for your reference included at the end

sense and sensibility

for all the wisdom in the world
in the strangest places is unfurled
i spend my days wishing i had dimples
and agonizing over howie the pimple

i look for the mr. darcy of my life
and it involves unimaginable strife
and my mother says
believe in your dreams
i think of a billion ways
my dreams arent what they seem

and then choosing not to feel blue
i put on my coat and hat and shoe
walk out into the bright sunshine
and realize everything will be fine

falling in love needn't be with a man
and every vacation needn't have a plan
but every star has a die hard fan
and you can get sunburnt while you tan

and every snowflake is one of a kind
and the greatest people speak their mind
if you keep looking, then you will find
in you, sense and sensibility enshrined

tada! thats it.. okay so the notes...
1)howie was what i named an enormous pimple that had somehow found its way to my otherwise flawless skin... i felt not the teeniest regret to see the last of him!
2)yes i know, smart alecs of the world, i know mr. darcy isfrom pride and prejudice but this can be my tribute to jane austen post
3)i'm currently in love with a song called the man who can't be moved by the script... watch it, you'll love it too!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw-J8kC5DHo
it's awesome!!!! :)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

why does everything have a name?

okay, so much for conventional beginnings. i have a fundamental problem! why do i have to name anything at all?
according to the messiah's handbook, to name something is harmless, and to name ideas is to create a religion. according to will shakepeare(who uncyclopedia considers a girl! can you believe this rubbish?), what is in a name?
I don't know... I'm one of those people who believe that everything is named for a reason, and if you named something pooka, or wally or batman, you did it for a reason, and that reason would ultimately play out for itself. 
I don't know how that works but it does. Regardless of what your name is, IT REALLY DOES WORK THAT WAY!!!
okay, try it
find a person, you really truly love. anyone. your parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, crush, pet dog/cat/iguana, favourite teddy bear, guitar, anything...
then figure out what their/it's name means, look it up...
you'll be able to connect to something special bout them. this is a really fun way to get to know them better as well. 
this started off with, why do i have to think of something to name this post? why do i bother? because three years from now, i'll read this and think... i really need a life. maybe i do. but hey, what better way to get one, than to start a blog?